The Magical Properties Of Grandmothers

This post is completely the result of a strange and magical dream I had in which I rescued Neil Gaiman (@Neilhimself) from a gypsy prison. Then hid him inside a bunk bed where we wrote a paper on the magical properties of grandmothers and the corresponding magical properties of baked goods as made by grandmothers. It was established that the only way to counteract the gypsy curse inevitably cast upon us was to employ the magic of a grandmother’s freshly baked bread. As neither Neil or myself had any living grandparents (This was a dream remember, I have no idea if Neil has any living grandparents in the real world. You’ll have to ask him about that.) we set out on a journey to find a grandmother in the forest and have her bake a magical loaf of bread in order to banish the gypsy curse.

Unfortunately I woke up before a resolution was found. The whole dream was reminiscent of the stories I used to write about The Rat Guru. As he would use baked goods to scry for the future. It occurred to me that maybe this dream was a little nudge to resurrect those stories. I do miss sitting in The Rat Guru’s garden sipping lavender tea and eating pineapple upside down cake while listening to satyrs and dragons tell tales of old worlds and new perils.

Here are some of the points of Grandmother Magic as discussed by Neil and myself in the dream (at least what I can remember of it):

1. Fairy tale Grandmothers usually have roles of power within the story. Even as the victim in Red Riding Hood she has the power of sacrifice.

2. The physical manifestation of the crone goddess- often misunderstood, as society places greater emphasis on youth. The crone is a powerful manifestation of womanhood at the end of life’s cycle. But only from her death/destruction can rebirth/creation take place. Therefore she has the most powerful role.

3. Grandmothers wrap their grandchildren in a protective cloak of love by means of knitted or crocheted blankets, gloves, and scarves... and sometimes the scent of cinnamon. Similar to psychic armor to protect the young until they have learned how to protect themselves.

4. The grandmother voice can invoke security, sleep, and wide-eyed illumination in regards to life. The sound of age and experience can calm a child, excite a child, and also discipline a child without more than a few melodic notes.

5. Grandmothers bake magic into their treats in order to infuse grandchildren with sense of freedom and invincibility. This is a first step in introducing independence in their young ones. Guiding them to be singular entities powerful in their own right.

6. Like a witch mixing a potion, a grandmother uses spices in their baked goods such as bread, cake, and cookie spells that are portable talismans against the evils of the world. By ingesting the spells, the full effects are infused directly on a cellular level.

7. A grandmother’s hug drapes her grandchildren with an aura of delight. Therefore disguising her grandchildren from forces of harm. Happiness, contentment, and joy are natural barriers from evil. Giggles are especially powerful charms to boost the happiness barrier.

In order to dispel the gypsy curse with grandmother magic it will take a very old grandmother and a very old recipe for a dark rye bread and a cup of freshly blended peppermint tea. The magic comes from ingesting the bread and tea ourselves while somehow utilizing the crumbs to encircle the gypsy encampment, trapping their curses within.

It seems that this dream has a good foundation for a story. Which I may write soon. But I have too many others in the works that need to be finished before I get to this one. I am intrigued by the whole concept of grandmothers as magical superheros.

My grandmother was certainly all of the things listed above and more. Her name was Leona and she was one of the most cherished parts of my childhood. She was magic. I bet no gypsy curse would have ever stood a chance against her moxie.

*This post is completely the result of way too much twitter.